Prostitution is Revolution

Summary (from back cover):

Between domination and subservience exists a realm of sensual fantasy unlike any ever dreamed. Marja was born a child of the fens, young, beautiful, and free. Her days were spent searching for bog iron for her poor family and communing with the spirits of the land who both guarded and guided her. But her contentment is broken when a man comes to her small village and buys her from her father. The handsome Lexander is well-known as a procurer for the pleasure house of Vidaris, where Marja is to be schooled in the arts of seduction and carnal delight. Though frightened, Marja grows to love her master and discovers her nature as a true submissive. But when Lexander grants Marja her freedom, she discovers that not all are so kind. Like the warriors who care nothing for those they conquer-and show no mercy to those who oppose them. Now, Marja must accompany a fallen noblewoman on a perilous journey to save the land that''s so precious to them. And Marja will have to use all of her strength, skills, and cunning to survive in the war that is about to engulf them all.

My Thoughts

Susan Wright is the poor man's Jacqueline Carey. =) I don't mean it as an insult to her; it would be difficult for anyone to match the Kushiel novels. I was struck right away by the huge amount of similarities though - girl trained as a prostitute who has a rapport with the gods (or olfs, the supernatural equivalent in Serve and Submit), who is the submissive in a dom/sub relationship and who has lots and lots of sex. The main character, Marja, had this out of this world quality which I found appealing. Alot like Remedios the Beauty from One Hundred Years of Solitude (only character I really liked in that book).

Kirkus Reviews mentiones it is 'well constructed' and I think I agree. Studying for my English exam appears to have left me in a fever to analyze the world; I stopped about three-quarters in to be impressed with how well structured the plot was.

If I was going to pick one weakness in the novel: I'd have to say it's Marja's relationship with Lexander. I know she tried to explain but I honestly didn't understand why she loves him. I mean from what I can see she fell for him because he was domineering? It was strange and a little disappointing for the main romantic relationship in the novel. I was more convinced of her affection for the couple she lived with for awhile: Gudren and Alga (if you're thinking threesome than surprise! You're right =D It's kind of fun actually, mentally ticking off all the fandom sexy tropes she goes through in the book. There are alot).

I totally giggled at her olfs who are voyeuristic little Brownie-like creatures. Mostly because, well, voyeuristic little Brownie-like creatures! How would you not find that concept amusing?

I recommend this book for: Jacqueline Carey fans, people who like Nordic mythology, anyone in the mood for a softcore erotica/fantasy hybrid (hey I don't judge, I read it first).

Rating: C

Ready, Set, Gossip!

Amazon Product Description - aka my free summary: Blair Waldorf and Serena van der Woodsen were the reigning princesses of the Upper East Side. Until now. In Gossip Girl, The Carlyles the inimitable Gossip Girl introduces the most fabulous sixteen year-old triplets to ever inhabit the Upper East Side. When the Waldorfs move from their apartment at the end of Don't You Forget About Me, the Carlyle triplets of Nantucket, Massachusetts--Owen, Baby, and Peyton-- move in. In the new titles of the Gossip Girl series, we will follow the Carlyles, plus three other teenagers living in gorgeous apartments, attending the most exclusive prvate schools-- the familiar Constance Billard School for Girls and St. Jude's School for Boys-- and treating New York's Upper East Side as their personal playground. Welcome to the new era.Lucky for you, Gossip Girl is there to whisper all their juicy secrets...

My Thoughts

I'm not sure if Annabelle Vestry worked on the previous Gossip Girl books - it's been a long time since I read them - but I think she's done a decent job of capturing the tone of the previous books. One thing that irritated me was the way she had 'gossip girl' offer pithy commentary every other page. I don't remember having to deal with that many asides in the previous books. It didn't bug me as much after I got about halfway through the book; either she stopped doing it so frequently or I got used to it.

I've always read the Gossip Girl books when I'm in a soap operatic mood: lots of drama, not too much thinking. I think the book worked fairly well on that level. There's no one I'm particularly rooting for this time around; although the plotline with Owen and Rhys is fun. It's all going to end explosively but I'll enjoy the friendship while it's still there (there are so few friends in the Gossip Girl world! I hang on to them where I find them).

Also, hello Jack, Miss Cammie-of-the-A-list-but-not-as-cool-Gossip-Girl-version. What's up? I am here, watching your antagonist plotting with some interest. Also, internally snickering everytime I forget you're a girl and think Rhys is gay. Speaking of; do you suspect they're maybe setting up Rhys to be our resident bisexual? Could be cool.

I reccomend this book for: Gossip Girl fans, soap opera fanatics, people looking for yet another catty rich girl series to make fun of (don't knock it till you've tried it. Snark is gooood).

Rating: C

Fanfiction Meets Artemis!

Summary (from inside cover flap): After disappearing for three years, Artemis Fowl has returned to a life different from the one he had. Now he's a big brother, and spends his days teaching his twin siblings the important things in life, such as how to properly summon a waiter at a French restaurant.

But when Artemis's mother contracts a life-threatening illness, his world is turned upside down. The only hope for a cure lies in the brain fluid of the silky sifaka lemur. Unfortunately, the animal is extinct, due to a heartless bargain Artemis made himself as a younger boy.

Though the odds are stacked against him, Artemis is not willing to give up. With the help of his fairy friends, the young genius travels back in time to rescue the lemur and bring it back to the present. But to do so, Artemis will have to defeat a maniacal poacher who has set his sights on new prey: Holly Short.

The rules of time travel are far from simple, but to save his mother, Artemis will have to break them all...and outsmart his most cunning adversary yet: Artemis Fowl, age ten.

My Thoughts

As soon as I heard the premise for the new Artemis Fowl book my mind immediately jumped to fanfiction. Please note, this is no insult, one of the best things about fanfiction is the way authors jump on to all the fun whacked out possibilities that canon isn't going to touch. I was rather pleased to see Eoin Colfer had no such qualms.

Straight up, I liked this book. I don't have alot of criticisms for it. The romance element was handled far better than in The Lost Colony (Away Minerva, away! I do not find your super genius attraction amusing or adorable). The twins didn't really get a chance to become fully developed characters, but I didn't mind since Colfer didn't make the mistake of using them as plot devices1 and besides, they were funny.

I think letting Artemis meet his younger self was a good move, I liked seeing the contrast between them. Just look at this line:

Opal used animal fat to suppress No1's magic. How despicable. How
horrible.

Young Artemis was studying the spreading mass of goo. "Look," he said,
noticing his older self. "Opal used animal fat to suppress No1's magic. How
ingenious."

Aside from highlighting just how much he's grown throughout the series (look Mom! Artemis has a conscience!) it was funny seeing Artemis having to deal with how obnoxious he is.

The time paradox explanation got a bit complicated but it rarely ventured into the realms of deus ex machina. It did make it rather difficult to do any proper plot twists - I guessed the ending somewhere within the first two chapters - but there was still plenty of action and there was one twist towards the end I didn't see coming.

Final consensus: I liked it. It wrapped up pretty much every major plot thread and the ones it didn't - what happened to Minerva? - I was happy to do without. It's a little more psychological than the past 5 books which I thought was appropriate seeing as Artemis has finally grown up. Good book, go buy it.

I recommend this book for: Urban fantasy fanatics, fans of James Patterson's Maximum Ride, and, of course, anyone looking for a generally good read.

Rating: B+

Note: You may notice the cover I have up is the US version. It's the cover my copy had, and frankly, after looking at the UK cover, I'm glad. I don't find either version particularly appealing but the UK version is making me think old times Indiana Jones.

1 Dear World,
Lately I have noticed an annoying trend in some of my books. I keep seeing characters whose sole purpose seems to be to pop up, deliver a handy explanation/witty quip and fall off the page again. I do not find such characters believable and would appreciate it if you could cease their proliferation immediately.

Sincerely, The Book Baroness

Lights, Camera, French Test!

Excerpt (from the back of the book): I'm going to let you in on a little Hollywood Secret: Movie stars don't always get along. It's true. You can't believe everything you hear during interviews on Access Hollywood. When a star is asked about her costar, she'll gush about how the two are best buds who go to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf every Saturday morning after Ashtanga yoga for a fat-free vanilla Ice Blended. The truth is they probably haven't seen each other outside work in six months. Celebrities will say anything for good publicity.

How do I know? You've probably already guessed. I'm one of them. I'm Kaitlin Burke, one of Teen People's "25 Hottest Stars Under 25." Number six on Entertainment Weekly's "It List."

Kaitlin Burke is exhausted. Being one of America's hottest stars and acting on the popular soap opera Family Affairs comes with plenty of stress: from late nights shooting to bitchy co-stars. So Kaitlin decides to finally go ahead and try something she's always wanted, life as an ordinary teen. High school comes with its own pressures though and between maintaining her public appearances, juggling her homework, and working on the planning committee for her school dance Kaitlin may have signed up for a little more than she can handle.

My Thoughts

I really enjoyed this book. Calonita has a solid grasp on characterization and I really liked Kaitlin and her friend Liz. I found Skye completely believable - I've definitely met her type before. I've got a soft spot for geeks so Kaitlin's love for Star Wars endeared her to me. Enjoyed the romance aspect too; it was refreshing to see a genuinely nice popular guy. And I was cheering for K when she confronted Skye at the end of the novel. Definitely worth the $10.99.

I recommend this book for: Teens interested in showbiz, anyone who feels like their job is taking over their life, and fans of Lola Douglas' Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet.

Rating: B+

1: Greetings to the Internet

Hello blogosphere. I'll be using this blog for book reviews, the occasional movie reviews, and any other interesting media items I should come across. This is the book rating system I'll be using.

A - Fantastic. Worth buying hardcover.
B - Very Good. I'd buy the paperback.
C - Mediocre. Borrow it From the Library.
D - Has some serious problems. Recommended only with reservations.
F - Hated it. Couldn't finish it.

Usual variants of + and - apply.

Note: I reserve the A rating only for insanely top notch books. Stuff like Markus Zusak's I Am the Messenger would rate an A. You should also probably know I prefer paperbacks to hardcovers. I only buy hardcovers when I absolutely must have the book right this minute and can't wait a few months for it to be released paperback.